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Ciara's Diary: Ireland’s Answer to Adrian Mole is here, and she’s from Connemara


08-09-2017 11:48
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Ireland’s Answer to Adrian Mole is here, and she’s from Connemara

 

‘If Maniac 2000 was the soundtrack to your teenage years, the hilarious Ciara’s Diary will take you back to those epic days!’ – Mark McCabe

 

There was a full House at House, Dublin on Wednesday evening for the launch of Ciara King’s new book Ciara’s Diary. Ciara is one half of the presenting duo behind 2FM’s Chris and Ciara was joined at the launch by co presenter Chris Greene who launched the book, while also dropping by were Ryan Tubridy, Eoghan McDermott, Jennifer Zamparelli, Niall Breslin, Danny O’ Reilly from the Corona’s, 2FM’s Tara Stewart, Dublin grime artist Mango Dassle, Tracy Clifford and Dave Fanning and 2FM Boss Dan Healy, Spin 1038’s Cormac Moore and Today Fm’s Feargal Darcy as well as Ciara’s family and friends. Check out the photo album over on our Facebook page.

 

In true Ciara’s Diary style Ciara’s speech on the night was in the form of a hilarious diary entry. Read it below!

 

Dear Diary,

 

Can you actually believe it, Ciara’s Diary is a book! Like, a total real life book. Hard back and everything. Who would have thought that all that stupid stuff you read out on the radio for nearly 6 years would actually become like a thing. I’m having the launch of the book in this big fancy place in Dublin called House, which is funny because it’s not even an actual house, it’s like really cool and has a bar and even serves Hendricks gin and everything.

 

Chris is going to launch the book for me, which is great, except for the fact that he wants to charge me 15,000 euro for an appearance fee, which is like, really sly, who does he think I work for- RTE RADIO 1?! I’ve been hanging out with people from Gill Books for the past year. There’s this one guy called Conor Nagle and he’s been taking me for posh tea in The Westbury for the past year to talk about the book, which is great and all, but he has me ruined as I’ll never be able to drink Barry’s or Lyon’s tea ever again. He approached me about making Ciara’s Diary into a book, but I only really decided to trust him and sign the contract when he revealed to me that he loves Roger Federer as much as I do, which I think was a good business move on my behalf.

 

There’s this other girl called Catherine Gough, and she like listened to Ciara’s Diary since iRadio and can even quote it. I like, love her, but did silently judge her when she told me that she once owned a Chicago Bulls basketball jersey when she was a teenager, Catherine is great, but she is no Michael Jordan. I really love Teresa, Ellen and Gráinne too. They’re like the publishing version of TLC, only cooler than Lisa Left Eye Lopez, T Boz and Chilli, even if they’re from like Kildare and Waterford or something, but I like them, they’ve worked really hard for me even when I have sent them really annoying emails, which I did a lot.

 

Dubray Books have been great and they’ll provide books to sell on the night. I think I have to sign them too. I’m expecting to sell close to 1 million, but I was never any good with figures, so we’ll see. The staff in Dubray Books on Grafton Street have been sound enough though and haven’t mentioned the fact that I’ve been there ALL week taking pictures of the book on the shelf to post on my Insta stories, but they did draw the line when I tried to push it on customers and tell them I was genuinely the next Anne Frank- which is fair enough I suppose. I work in 2FM now, which is cool, I have this boss called Dan Healy, I’ve known him for awhile and he’s alright, he gets cross sometimes and tells ridiculous stories about Silver back gorilla’s when we should be talking about radio, but I like him. There’s Paul Russell too, I heard a rumour in the office that he knows someone from U2, how class is that. Ever since I heard, I’ve been practising "With or without you" on the tin whistle just in case.

 

My best friend in 2FM is Larry Gogan. I think he secretly fancies me because he asked me for some of my books to give away for his "Just a minute quiz" at the weekend and I got like so emotional that I accidentally walked into the male toilets and ended up making really awkward eye contact with Philip Boucher Hayes- who is a total ride by the way. Oh my god, guess what by the way, me and Chris only went and got nominated for a radio award for best comedy radio show, which I think is a weird category because we like take ourselves really seriously and talk about politics and stuff. But we’ll take what we can get I guess. Speaking of being blocked. I think Joe Canning blocked me on Twitter, maybe he got sick off all the heart emoji’s that I direct messaged him after Galway won the All Ireland Final, but still, sly. I wish I could block Chris on Twitter. Also, Joe Canning is a ride.

 

During the week, I didn’t even want to have a launch of the book, because I thought who would actually want to come to my loser party. Everyone I invited was suddenly on holiday , or else at my cousin Donal’s wedding in Italy. How selfish was he to have his wedding at the same time as my book launch, just because hes like "SO" in love with Ivy But get this Dear Diary, my cousin Shane O’ Neill whatsapped me and told that he was coming all the way from London and honestly It felt like that scene in Braveheart, when the cavalry that were hiding, appear over the hill and help William Wallace defeat the English. Whatsapp is great, except for the part when hot guys don’t message you back (LOL).

 

My family are coming from Connemara and Limerick and all over Ireland. God, I hope they are cooler than the time the Healy Raes were having a ceili outside the Dail because I would be totally mortified, but I guess like, I appreciate the fact that they are all here and I love them very much. I hope Dad doesn’t start giving out to the bar man about the price of drink in Dublin and I’ll have to keep him away from Jennifer Zamperelli as he loves her in Bridget and Eamon. Hopefully no Munster rugby players turn up at the launch either, my mum will probably try and shift them, and that would be like SO embarrassing and if there’s anyone getting the shift tonight it’s me. I’m really happy they’re here though.

 

The girls that I live with are coming to the launch too. Oh my god, I hope they behave themselves and don’t drink too much wine. They’ll probably try and shift everyone too. It’s hard being like the only normal person in that house. These girls even like drink wine in their dressing gowns! Eimear, Noelle and Ailbhe will be here too. They’ve known me since forever. I’m going to have to keep them away from everyone though because I’ve built up quiet the reputation in being cool in Dublin and I don’t need them ruining it for me by revealing that I’m not really cool at ALL.

 

People have been like SO nice to me this week. My friend Ian bought my dress for the launch as a surprise, which was so kind but he better not think that I am going to put out. It turns out I’m 33 and still a fridgid. My friend Susie, who works on Breakfast Republic must think I am a total minger as she organised for me to get my hair and makeup done. I’m not putting out for Susie either, she already has a husband, no there’s no need for her to be greedy. I just hope that everyone has a really nice time and that enough books are sold so I can go and live out my dream of moving to Switzerland to set up my Roger Federer stalking camp. Conor Nagle said he would come with me too.

 

Before I go, Do you think Dear Diary that because I have a book, that I’ll actually get the shift?

 

Good Night Dear Diary,

 

Love,

 

Ciara

 

About the book

 

Ciara’s Diary is the page turning account of a young girl growing (and groaning) up in in Connemara at the turn of the century.

 

Picture this: the year is 1999. ‘No Scrubs’ rules the airwaves, bootleg DVDs of Cruel Intentions are thrilling crowds of sexually progressive teens and if you’re not wearing combat trousers with platforms, you’re a nobody. In the midst of this perplexing world, a girl named Ciara, inspired by her heroes Anne Frank and Aung San Suu Kyi (whose struggles are her own), begins to document her plight against pushy parents, bad shifts and the stubborn non-appearance of boobs.

 

Listeners of the Chris and Ciara show on 2FM will be familiar with presenter Ciara King’s hilarious diary segment, in which she reads cringe-worthy entries from a diary inspired by her own teenage years. Ciara’s Diary is a laugh-out-loud account of one girl’s formative years, that every girl who came of age around the turn of the millennium will recognise. Fresh, funny and occasionally excruciating, Ciara’s Diary is the spiritual successor to Adrian Mole, albeit with more shifting.

 

Ciara’s Diary is available online from our website, Eason, Dubray, Amazon and in all good bookshops nationwide!

 

Follow Ciara King on Twitter and Instagram for her latest news.

 

About the author

 

Ciara King is one half of the presenting duo behind 2FM’s Chris and Ciara. In addition to regularly appearing elsewhere on RTÉ radio, she’s a contributor of roving reports to TV3’s Six O’Clock Show and Entertainment.ie. A native of Roundstone in Connemara, Ciara’s Diary is inspired by her teenage misadventures.



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